Oh, What A Ride
I was sitting in my new co-working space surrounded by these new friends, amazingly talented new friends. From all walks of life and various professions, these people were vibrating with creativity and energy and possibility. They were fun and interesting and I was in heaven. Suddenly it hit me. Clear and powerful it welled up inside me. This was it. This was the moment when I knew, more deeply than ever before, that I had moved and that my life had opened up. I picked up my phone and texted my partner, "I love my life". In that moment I realized that my life was exactly as I wanted it to be. It wasn't extravagant. I wasn't suddenly famous. But I was full.
Maybe that is the best way to describe a Big Life - simply being full. No one else could have ever told me what my Big Life looked like. It was a journey for me to make. It is a journey I am still creating, every day. And your Big Life is the same. Only you can define it. Only you will know when you have it. And I believe it is something we continue to create everyday through the choices we make, the priorities we identify and the relationships we nurture. But before we can celebrate our Big Life we have to define for ourselves what that means.
A Big Life isn't necessarily about size or stature or success. Actually a Big Life is closer to the opposite. Our life becomes Big when we are living out who we were created to be, in relationships that nurture us, in ways that give us meaning. Your Big Life might be the incredibly important work you do as a parent. It may be freeing the creative side of yourself through art or music or poetry. Your Big Life might mean unshackling from people who want you to stay small and quiet or who cannot find it in their hearts to support your dreams. I don't know what your Big Life looks like. But you do. And I want you to find it.
So maybe we revisit my blog from a few weeks ago. Once again this journey is about living inside the questions. Finding our Big Life is about listening to the questions we ask about our lives. When we listen in this way the answers mysteriously and lovingly find their way into our hearts and consciousness.
The question is not whether your life is perfect or whether or not you are happy. Life is never perfect - nor are the people in it - and happiness is fleeting.
I think there is a much better question. Are you full?
Does it feel as if there is almost no more room for all of the good and blessing in your life? And not because there is no difficulty or pain, but because all of that taken in measure still cannot out weigh or lessen the amount of goodness. We know we are full when at the end of the day, when we lay our head on the pillow, we are sure we are where we are supposed to be and that the world is ordered exactly as it should be. The world fits us, how we move in it, how we order our days, where we find meaning and hope and promise. Even when it's hard.
There is a scene from the movie Parenthood that speaks profoundly and simply to this idea of a Big Life. Gil has been complaining about his complicated life when Grandma wanders into the room. Grandma says, "You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster. Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride! I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it. "
A Big Life is a full life - a life full of experiences that expand us; filled with people who love, support and encourage us; filled with intimacy, risk, and challenge; lives brimming with meaning. This is the life that is our birthright, your birthright. Don't be disheartened if you don't feel full right now. What matters is that the not being full stops being an option. Now. Get curious about the empty places in your life and let them speak to you. Let those voids create a hunger in your soul, a yearning for more. Choose one small step you can take today to make your life the Big Life you deserve.